BzirkWorld

Just don’t

I stumbled on this old blog post from a few years ago and it reminded me of when I first figured out what WP Award Memes are all about.  It marks the beginning and the end of my interest in them.

I decided to repost it because the memory made me smile.  Thinking back on my poor, frustrated husband, his constant confusion about what drives me and makes me tick has morphed into a kind of disgusted acceptance. 

I’m always trying to find ways to keep my life trending.  Throwbacks are a relatively new device to keep us at the top of newsfeeds, “I have nothing clever to say today but I was pretty cute four years ago…see…just look at this!”   I’m old so staying relevant is a challenge.  I’m up for it.

Plus, I’ve been thinking about moving my antique roll-top back into the kitchen but after reading this old blog post I remember what a bad idea it is.  And, my frustrated spouse would have to break out the tools and take it all apart and get the dolly to move it and he’s busy working and chopping wood so he’d be all heavy sigh and eye rolling and, “Yeah, I’ll get to it next weekend…” because he works his ass off so that I can sit around and goof off with words. I mean, I work…but you know.  Words.

My life is still similar in many ways, even four years later;  my husband is still pissed but for altogether different reasons.  Pissing people off is apparently a special skill of mine.  I take no real pride in it  because I’m pretty humble about most of my special skills. I only have a couple so it’s easy to keep things in check.  And, my Big Yard Project is still that…a project. Like everything else in my life.  Unfinished.

This article will have little meaning to folks who do not use WordPress to blog.  It does illustrate another maddening characteristic about me though, so if you’re in that long line of always pissed at me, it might help solidify that emotion for you.

I so often don’t understand the bigger picture right away. That’s what this is about.  I can see how it’d be frustrating for the people who are required to love me; that I’m so blinded by my obsession to write that I often don’t see how it’s not working out very well or when something is just a marketing scheme and not a real thing in life. It’s a forest for the trees kind of thing.  Be pissed if you must but don’t hate me.  I can’t seem to help myself.

The Epiphany (circa 2011)

I don’t actually think I can do this.   But, since I was honored by a ‘mention’ and therefore nominated for an award and because I  pretty much like to pay it forward and backward, I’m gonna’ try .  Thank you Brandon, aka music.unrenowned (that blog is gone now.  He must have gotten a real job somewhere).

While I am not new to blogging or writing exactly, I am new to WordPress (again) and new to looking for an audience.  I have always written because I wanted to and if a reader stumbled on my work and liked it- well… let’s be honest.. it’s like a drug.  So, I have recently reached out to other bloggers to find out what people are writing.   And reading.

I discovered Tenbrokenrecords in my wanderings.  I am old enough to be everybody’s grandmother so I come from a place of great exposure, if not experience with  music.  Landing on Brandon’s page was a treat.   My favorite aspect of the blog is that its author is open to, and even requests content ideas and new bands and music to expose and critique.  Bravo, Brandon.  The site design is nice and weekly tweaking is fun to watch.   Besides all that, turns out Brandon is a nice guy and I have taken an interest in his school progress.

When I saw the email on my phone this morning about being nominated

for a WP award..well, I’m embarrassed to say I cut short my usual morning routine and nearly tripped on the ill-placed (but quite attractive) throw rug between the dining room and kitchen, where my old and rarely trusty laptop mostly sleeps on the over-sized roll top desk  (which takes up too much space in my kitchen but again, is quite attractive).   I forced myself to resist running upstairs where my actual PC thrives and hums and always works like an ‘effing charm because I have a fear of jinxing all-things-good by getting too excited and thinking that maybe something good is about to happen.

In the three or so seconds it took me to race into the kitchen and plop into the chair I had already dismissed any possibility that I read the email correctly.  As I landed in the chair, however, I began an urgent coaxing and begging and making little deals in my mind with God  (please, please, please  let this be one of the times this POS laptop isn’t battling some scripting error).  I logged into WP to accept my nomination and thank, profusely, my nominator, Brandon.

I read Brandon’s nomination post and saw my blog link on his list of nominees and I thought, okay, this is great.  This is good.  This is … pretty good.  Well.  This is, um.  So … when is the winner picked?  How will I know?  Who are the judges?  What’s the deal here?

At about this moment in my cautious and slowly diffusing excitement, my husband, feigning indifference, ambled past the desk toward the coffee pot.  He’s been pissed at me for about six weeks now (his fault) and I have responded with resolute apathy.  But, I could not resist:  “I was nominated for a writing award on WordPress!”  His reaction was genuine.  He was excited for me (for a second) and I’m a bitch but I’m not evil so I felt properly guilty  (for a second).    I shrugged off the excitement and guilt and he remembered he was pissed and ambled back outside to poke around and do whatever it is he does out there when he’s pissed and trying to ignore me.

So, left alone in my ratty chair I did some poking of my own.  What is this ‘Versatile Blogger Award’ thing anyway?  I found a forum (thank you TimeThief) and got the deets.  I got the 411.  I got the skinny.  Okay (sorry), yeah, I figured it out.  I put the laptop to sleep and brushed my teeth and got on with my day.  But I was amped a little.  I’m in sales.  I know marketing.  But still … I was nominated.  And no, I did not tell my angry husband that there is no chance I am actually winning any actual trophy or anything.

I worked on my Big-Back-Yard-Project and having determined The Project is one of the numerous reasons my husband is pissed, decided to enlist his help on the heavy lifting and electric tool portion of the job.    He did the work without suggesting the correct (his) way to do the thing — which had to be excruciating for him — and he generally wallowed in the #I’ma big f**kingmartyr role all day and I found I rather enjoyed it.  I, after all, had been nominated for a writing award.

Back at the laptop (which appears to be at peace with all incoming scripts),  I debated whether I would continue with the award meme (yes, I looked it up.  It’s a real word).  I clicked on Brandon’s other blog nominees. I found some I liked. I checked out some of their blogrolls and found even more blogs I liked.  I made some comments and ‘liked’ a few.  Some of them looked back at my blog.  I got a couple of  ‘likes’ on my posts.  And comments.  So. Yeah. I win.

As for the seven things about me.. do I have to?  I’m not really in to that … besides, there are at least seven suggestions about me in the above blog post.  Assume anything you wish.  Clearly, I can tolerate being ignored, not liked, not appreciated, endlessly nagged and all my faults pointed out constantly –  oh, wait- that’s not you –  either way, I’m not that interesting.   I prefer to tell you the reasons I am nominating the following blogs:   (I’ve changed up the list from four years ago because some of the old blogs are gone and I’ve found some in the meantime that I like and frequent).

• neverbenormalagain
• sonofabeach96 – 
• myspanglishfamilia
• The Gypsy Paints: More of Neva Paints.. funny..
• Talker96:
  
• nutsrok
• imaginewithdany
• memorybearsbybonnie.
• Flehman Response:
• gielliott
• I just can’t do this anymore.. It’s nearly 2:30 AM and tomorrow is punkin’ patch day.  10 is plenty.  It has taken me a week to write this and find ten blogs I would actually read here.. not that there aren’t plenty of good blogs… but I’m busy … and since WP won’t allow click ads I still have to work sometimes.. So that’s it.  Here are the rules if you should decide to play along.. thanks again, Brandon.   —Update: The pumpkin patch was fun.
  

If you choose to accept the award, the following are the NEW rules (I chucked the old rules):

1. Don’t do it.
2. Read, follow and comment on blogs you like.
3. Interact with the people who take the time to follow your blog.
4. Make sure you only write when you aren’t working on something that actually pays the bills.