Facebooking with Grandma:

Social Media 101 

 

selfie (3)

I took a quick scroll thru my FB feed before bed last night and recognized a particular young woman’s selfie among the hundreds of other selfies.  She is a friend of one of my kids and was dressed in some kind of lacy, low-cut top with plenty of cleavage on display. Nothing all that unusual necessarily, until I noticed the snippy comment posted by her grandmother:

“Aren’t you freezing? it is 25 degrees here with a 15 degree wind chill, and the wind is blowing like crazy too. We do not dress like that in the house even. It is winter.”

I had a good laugh but I worried a little about the grandmother. I’ve had a couple of my own grandmothers and I am, strangely enough, grandmother to an ever-expanding slew of children. The struggle is real. What the hell is wrong with kids these days?

Just kidding.  I was a bit of flasher back in the day myself.  Thank God we didn’t have social media. Or camera-phones.

Besides all that, granny has apparently forgotten that 25-year-olds don’t really get cold.  It’s not even a thing. They are veritable furnaces, even semi-naked.

10 Possible lessons in this story:

1. If you live in an area with at least two distinct and opposite seasons, remember that you can only be a proper sex-kitten in the summer months.

2. Don’t post half-naked selfies where your grandparents can see them (I thought  everybody knew that).

3. Learn to use privacy settings properly so you can advertise the goods to potential buyers only. You’ll save your granny some hand-wringing. Why make her suffer?

4. Wear more clothes when it’s cold. Everybody already knows what’s under your coat.  You don’t have to remind us constantly and you’re making us all pretty nervous that you aren’t very smart.

5. Stop thinking of yourself as a product.

6. See number 5.

7. See number 5.

8. See number 5.

9.  See number 5.

10. See number 5.

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14 thoughts on “Facebooking with Grandma:

  1. Joan says:

    HYSTERICAL

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bzirkone says:

    I knew you’d get it. xxx

    Like

    • Being a big believer in what goes around comes around I am thankful not to have grand daughters to worry about. I gave my own Mom fits as a young girl, growing up in the era of halter tops and Dukes of Hazard cut off shorts. Yikes. Unfortunately #5 doesn’t register until your at least 30 or 40, then it doesn’t matter all that much because men don’t shop thrift stores. They like new merchandise.

      Liked by 3 people

      • bzirkone says:

        That’s funny Lona. I squeaked by with three daughters and they mostly weren’t as bad as I was as a kid. Some of their stuff I don’t know anything about and I’m grateful for it. They like to sit around now and tell me the horrid things they did as teenagers and it still raises my shoulders up around my ears. I’m not anxious to see my darling granddaughters act like the wild thing I used to be. sheesh. Makes me shiver to think of it. Maybe I’ll be dead by then. As for men and what they want, I’ve come have zero effs about it. If I weren’t already married I wouldn’t even deal with men at all. If it weren’t for the sex I’d just be gay. So much easier. That’s not entirely true. Some of my best friends are men and I love them dearly. I just don’t really care if they find me attractive or want to see my cleavage.

        Like

  3. La Sabrosona says:

    Is that the Pope’s version of gay? 😉

    Like

  4. bzirkone says:

    I’ve always liked this pope. He just gets me. Thanks for stopping by.

    Like

  5. eyeofmyown says:

    Haha, love the list! Unfortunate that social media has made us all think that we are a “brand” and therefore have to sell ourselves yet has forgotten to relay the real lessons of being a celebrity (just think of any 80’s or 90’s child star who hit it big then fell so hard). Thanks for your wit and humor!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. bzirkone says:

    Thanks for stopping by. I’m enjoying your photos and creations. I guess back in the stone ages when I was young and sexy we flashed people because it was shocking and breaking the rules was exhilarating. Now it’s just expected. Not nearly as fun. Plus they do seem to be branding themselves. Everybody is for sale to the highest bidder (for the day). Shame.

    Like

  7. I am loving #5! You’re so right about them never getting cold. Sometimes I wonder if they even own a coat. Thank goodness there were no cell phones or social media when I was younger…no evidence! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Bernadette says:

    I remember going to the opening day of the Phillies in hot pants, brrrr. Thank goodness their wasn’t face book to worry my grad mom back then. This really was a very funny and true post. If you are a grandmother I think you might enjoy linking to my Senior Salon which opens on Wednesdays. Why don’t you take a look.. You would be a great contributor.

    Liked by 1 person

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