Category Archives: fat

Get Out Of The Way!!

Whaaaaatt?Okay, so I get that great care should be taken when driving a 4000 pound vehicle where pedestrians are milling around – like the Walmart parking lot.  But seriously.  Get the fuck out of the way.

I mean, is it just me or has the flow of traffic in parking lots taken a turn for the worse?   When 7 cars are stopped for two or three slow, fat, smart-assy pedestrians who would actually be going backwards if they walked any slower, I cannot be the only driver thinking, fuck it, hit them.  Or at least drive up really close to their fat asses  and honk like hell.

Courtesy, safety, caution.. I get it.  It just doesn’t make sense for 7 cars to stop for 1.5 minutes to wait for these inconsiderate pukes to lolly-gag their asses across the driveway when it would take only 1/2 a  minute for all 7 cars to get past the cross-walk making it perfectly safe and convenient for them to stroll at their leisure any old way they wish.

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Just When you Thought I’d Learned my Lesson..

This is not my eye

I’m back.  Older, fatter and yes, smarter.

Not a day has gone by that I haven’t imagined myself sitting here, as I am now, blasting the author of some ridiculous opinion, some hideously crafted article (complete with misleading headline and obviously incorrect data) or a random comment heard accidentally in a conversation of which I was not even a participant.  To be perfectly frank, sometimes it all comes down to a stupid Facebook post.   I am constantly writing a response.  In my head.

I think of writing nearly all the time.   Whether it is a response to the above mentioned events or some evolving thought of my own which, as I am driving or pushing my shopping cart or cooking a meal or otherwise trapped somewhere without a keyboard, develops and snowballs in my mind until I am nearly chewing my teeth into dust because- as I said- I am so often trapped without a keyboard.   Or, I have a keyboard but I am somehow, inexplicably, adhering to the rules of survival and actually working.  It’s an FML kind of thing.   I want to write.  All the time.

Unfortunately (depending on my perspective at any given second), I have to shop, cook, work and otherwise fulfill my obligations as a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, friend, blah, blah, blah.. you know the deal.  You have the same deal, if you are lucky.  If you don’t have the same deal, you are either unlucky or smart (…depending on my perspective at any given second).

So, I’m back.  I have several blogs and websites.  I have not even added up my annual expense to maintain these sites.   I don’t care.  I need them.

It’s nearly midnight and because tomorrow I am booked solid with events that do not involve writing in any way, I have to go to bed.  It will take me 30 minutes to get to sleep once I get there because I will be crafting my second blog until I finally cark it for the day. 

If I stay up and write, which is what I would rather do, my other events tomorrow  will be attended with raw frustration and bitchiness.  My second goal in life is to enjoy doing things that do not involve writing or wanting to write.  It’s healthy.  I need it.  So I am going to bed.

In the words of the once revered and now scandalized ex-governor of California, I’ll be back.  I promise me.

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