1. Stores should not be allowed to call themselves “super” anything if they are out of Cilantro in August. I just don’t get that.
2. When crossing a busy crosswalk in the dark, allowing your 18-inch-tall baby to walk beside you instead of carrying the child is selfish, stupid, dangerous and borders on insane.
3. Strolling leisurely across the crosswalk while chatting on your cell phone in one hand and very slowly pushing a cart with the other hand, simply invites assault. Begs for it really.
3. All the terrible people bring their loud obnoxious children to shop on Monday evening. (Note to self: Shop on Tuesday evening instead.)
4. in the US, we typically drive on the right side of the road (if we’re sober). It stands to reason that grocery carts be operated in the same manner. In fact, it makes all kinds of sense–traffic flow wise. Unless, that is, you are the only person on the planet. Then, you do what you want and disregard logic and common courtesy. (Note to self: Try Tuesday shopping next week.)
5. If your writing group has doubled in size and now includes several 13-year-olds with rainbow colored hair and the facilitator is showing slides of minnows and algae, trust your instincts…you’re in the wrong room. You don’t belong here, even if all the people smile and wave when you walk in. Also, notify the front desk. The minnow people took over the writing room.
6. Note to self: When a patron brings in a service dog–one that wears a big vest that says: “STOP–don’t pet me” and it settles down by your legs, licks your ankles and smells like pond water, find out if it’s rude to change chairs. I like dogs and all but seriously. My dog was pissed when I got home. (Note to self: don’t announce that you dislike stories about wizards and trolls before the first reading. About wizards and trolls. Damn it).
Otherwise it was a pretty good day.