More Than 50 Years After the Movement–I’m Finally Burning my Bra

pinkbraIt’s been more than 100 years since the first bra patent was issued in the U.S.  Think about that.  100 years.

New advances in fabric and hooks and fasteners and wires and padding and straps and God knows, sex appeal have been unleashed on a grateful nation of amply and otherwise breasted women.

Still, you’d think with all the advancements and improvements and God also knows the nagging and bitching, it has never once occurred to bra manufacturers that the one improvement we really, really want is for that tiny invisible thorn that is sewn into all bras and which always reveals itself at some point during the daytime hours of our busy lives to be somehow removed or captured and destroyed like some kind of bad flu strain or polio or chicken pox.  I mean for god’s sake. We’ve sent men to the moon. We’ve eradicated deadly disease.

Who are these sadistic bastards that insist that this painful, irritating, maddening barb be embedded in our pretty, lacy, pink and necessary under garments?  The prettier the bra,  the more painful and hard to locate the offending barb.

I’ve made up my mind.  I’m taking off my bra and throwing it, along with all 30 of the other ones in my bra drawer, into the trash.   This means, of course, that I can never leave the house again.  I’m okay with that.

 

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11 thoughts on “More Than 50 Years After the Movement–I’m Finally Burning my Bra

  1. Well lucky you if it’s just “A” barb, and not a crown of thorns like some of the bras I have!

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  2. lbeth1950 says:

    A fine plan, sure to improve you life.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. bzirkone says:

    Ha, Ilona, I feel the pain. I’ve also had those bras that felt like a crown of thorns. They don’t last long around here.

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  4. danetigress says:

    Thanks for following my blog http://www.danetigress.wordpress.com I’ve followed you back happy holidays !

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jodine says:

    This made me laugh. I don’t wear a bra at home and I don’t leave the house if at all possible. It’s doable. Jx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. BunKaryudo says:

    My experience of bra wearing is rather limited (actually, non-existent), but I do know my wife complains about them from time to time. I don’t remember barbs being mentioned before, but she does often say something about wire cutting in, which I don’t really understand but which sounds painful. Perhaps never leaving the house again is price worth paying for a painless life. 🙂

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  7. bzirkone says:

    If you ask her about the barb I’m sure she’ll fill you in. I think it comes down to the stiff fishing line they use as thread. One sharp end invariably comes loose and jabs through the fabric and into the skin. I almost mentioned the broken wires in this piece because that is a real thing too. Just recently I spent several weeks contemplating the pain in my right mammary container and had pretty well scheduled the inevitable treatment plan which I felt sure would be prescribed when I finally made an oncology appointment. Turned out to be a broken wire. Imagine my relief. I’m also a hypochondriac but that’s a different post. Thanks for stopping by. I’ve followed your blog and plan to spend some time in the next couple of days perusing your clever words. Thanks for the comment and the follow.

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  8. Girlfriend…I have no problems leaving the house without mine! I stopped wearing one a long time ago; However, recently, age may have necessitated the rewearing of those padded ones…you know just for support sake. It appears that with all of their intelligence and ingenuity, they can’t fashion a bra to counter act gravity…those intelligent fools! lol Yet, sometimes FREEDOM is more important…so if you spot a pair of headlights glaring you in the face, or maybe glaring a little lower towards the ground…that would be ME! ha ha lol

    Liked by 1 person

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