Author Archives: bzirkone

It wasn’t the ‘news’ media that created the Starbucks Cup Crises. It was their corporate sponsor, Starbucks themselves. They must’ve known full well that every self-righteous atheist and supremely confident Christian in the country would immediately march right over and order up a beverage in a Red Cup–just to protest the whole hullabaloo. Brilliant marketing scheme, especially since the ‘news’ media in America really has nothing else to talk about now except for Ben Carson’s scholarship and Ted Cruz’s dad in Cuba. Thank goodness for corporate sponsors supporting the ‘news’ media. Otherwise we wouldn’t have any news at all!! ‪#‎asheepatthewheel‬ ‪#‎newsforsale‬ ‪#‎simpleminds‬ ‪#‎entertainedtodeath‬ ‪#‎americafadesaway‬

Red Cups

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sept15 030Here’s the thing about Googling recipes. If the link says, “Easy Carrot Soup Anyone Can Make!!” and then the recipe calls for essence of chicken beak, kosher, double pressed coconut oil, 1/16 tsp of anything, no-chicken chicken broth (wtf?), 1/2 sprig of chervil (???), OR, displays the entire recipe in a slide show with lots of blah, blah, #imsoclever blah, blah, the recipe is NOT easy and I can’t make it until the chicken beaks arrive (two day shipping: Amazon). I just wanted a nice carrot soup.

Chicken Beaks

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Thanks for Nothing Milton

Comicvine.com

 

Going into this race several months ago, I looked hard at Milton Wolf and chatted with him a bit.  I am fairly independent and open to hearing new ideas, new ways to accomplish the ultimate goal of freedom, independence, and self-reliance.  In speaking with Wolf, I did not come away with a feeling of great confidence that he would tackle those issues and battle the forces in congress that are damning our collective personal and national condition. Continue reading

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I’m Hangry. Please Don’t Jack Around

WARNING:  I’m a big fan of foul language. The following post includes a pinch of spicy and green leafy cuss words. Please avoid this article if you have delicate sensibilities.recipes1

 

Dear Foodie Blogger,

For the love of God, please choose  – preferably in the advanced planning stages before launching your wonderful new blog, whether you are a storyteller, photographer, or, and this is a big one…a fucking cook.  Because here’s the thing:  YOUR BLOG CAN’T BE ALL THREE.  At least not very well.  And definitely not if you want me to subscribe and tell all my friends about it.

I get it.  I know what you are trying to do.  I’ve seen it done well but not often, and not unless you can legitimately add graphic artist to your resume and know how to skillfully design a page with photos of sumptuous food logically arranged around the ACTUAL RECIPE IN A READABLE FORMAT. That’s a lot of work for the average Foodie blogger.  Try not to get too fancy about it.  If you don’t pay a large staff to do everything except the cooking, just post the recipe with a few photos of the finished product. Really. That’s all you need. If you absolutely must write a 17-paragraph narrative about the recipe, maybe do it after you’ve posted the ingredients and cooking directions.  A couple of people will be interested.  Not me but maybe some others.

I love and enjoy each of these specific blog genres  – storytelling, photography and cooking –  but when combining them, if they each carry equal weight, what you end up with is a blog that is, at first glance, big and beautiful and envy-inducing, “Oh my God I wish my hot dogs looked this pretty!”  On further inspection, however,  when I’m trying to find the actual recipe, if the blog becomes complicated and confusing because I’m spending way too many of my expensive minutes searching and scrolling and clicking and pressing arrows to find the F&(*ing  ingredients or oven temp, you’ve lost me in a mad fury. Continue reading

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An Actual Story of Tears and Exclamations!

cry-baby

Crying has become a bit of a social meme if you ask me—a verbal emoticon :'(. It all started with the World Wide Web, and let’s be honest, the sum total of all that amazing technology: Facebook (okay and Google). The natural evolution of all this immediate and 24/7 connectedness is the “News Feed,” which may include actual news from actual news organizations; local and international if you click on things just right.

More and more often, news actors post “news stories” on social media sites and there’s one in particular in my local area which I won’t name, that routinely includes headlines with editorial directives such as, “Grab a Tissue This Story is a Real Heart Wrencher!!!” And, “See if you Can Keep from Crying Over This Sad Story!!” And, perhaps the quintessential example of the degradation of journalism in America: “This Story Is So Sad!!” Crying is the foregone conclusion here. Reading the story is optional and I’m guessing most people don’t. Comment after comment on these stories reveals a veritable flood of emotion by way of sobbing and crying, “OMG! I’m so sad!!”

1455274219_o-child-sad-facebook

                               Meme: White cop shot her puppy                                                                     Actual truth: found out the ice cream carton is empty.

 

In addition to verbal emoticons and thanks again to the constantly evolving language of internet-speak, social media chatterers also have millions of memes available to share feelings of inspiration, political disdain, and yes, everybody’s favorite: sadness :(.  My personal favorite, which invariably produces a crescendo of tears and heartbreak, are actual photos of sad images which are conveniently taken out of context to…you guessed it, make people cry. If I’ve read it once, I’ve read it a million times, “OMG I’m crying!!” posted after an obviously Photoshopped picture of a baby with feet growing out of its ear, or a dog with no head or torso, but thanks to the generous work of an unsung hero who built a robotic head and other essential organs for the pup it continues to survive, and just look at that neato remote-controlled dolly where the front half of the animal remains cutely stationary while the back legs run and frolic in delight, “That’s so precious!! I cried the whole time I was reading it!!” Continue reading

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I Can’t Complain

For just a few minutes, I have my house back.  It’s damp and foggy outside and in the house the wood stove is radiating just enough warmth in this rare moment of quiet peace.  It  won’t last long and there is a tension in my gut that I only have a short amount of time to enjoy it.   I try to savor it but the anxiety that it may end too quickly irritates me. Continue reading

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owsI am not wealthy and I do not wish to be aligned with a misguided, poorly informed group that has so completely lost its message and destroyed what was left of its credibility when there could, actually, have been a meaningful demonstration of the frustration, anger and hopelessness that many Americans feel right now.  I am neither clueless nor do I pander to destructive platforms or politicians.  I am also not a nutball conspiracy-theorist who jumps on-board with every anarchistic snake-oil salesman who has just enough net worth to stumble  into a presidential race.  furthermore, while I am certainly concerned about the future of our country’s financial buttfuckery, I do not feel hopeless, nor do I blame it on any one party or one politician or policy.  That would be.. well.. stupid, clueless and a complete abdication of my autonomy (I believe there are 12-step programs for folks who prefer to be taken care of by others).  As for any reference to being shat upon by my ‘masters,’ perhaps I am just more clever and self sufficient than you or the folks who camp out for weeks in the rain and the filth as the other   tax-paying  Americans continue to work  or seek employment and who wield their considerable power behind the curtains of a ballot box.   But, I absolutely believe you should stay in the tent and huddle under a dirty (donated) blanket while your corporate sponsors feed you and keep the lights on for you and the police force surrounds you to keep the rest of us safe on our way to work.

Facebook Response to Occupy Attackers

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Looking for the Money Shot in Iowa

I remind myself constantly that cameras – while they may not lie exactly – only reveal snapshots.  How many times have you been questioned about the look on your face at a particular moment, “Are you mad?”   “What are you thinking about?”   In reality, your nose was itching, you remembered a forgotten task, you had a foot cramp,  or actually, you have no idea why your mouth turned up or your forehead wrinkled.   Looking at photos of my own self, I often wonder, What Was I Thinking??

Cameras hyper-focus an audience on the face and body language of its subjects.  We have these two-hour time frames during televised debates to stare at (and listen to) people talk and display a whole range of emotion, physical reaction and thought.  What  looks  like an arrogant smirk may well be the result of holding back a fart.  These are, after all, human beings.  Farts and all.

Televised debates are incredibly powerful influencers because we are so visual and so vain and so attracted to perfection and so fickle- always looking for that one tell-tale moment when the candidate reveals the whole Monty with that one  expression (the money shot?).

Or, maybe I’m just shallow.

I think these GOP (and most) candidates are courageous and patriotic and ultimately, love America.  I had a moment last night while watching the debate  when I was overcome with patriotism.   I watched these people on the stage in various camera angles, up-close-and-personal, and I just felt so strongly about all of them.  I was proud and touched by their courage to be up there. I was overcome with gratitude to be an American and I thought, for a minute, that these candidates are all mostly good, or want to be, and mostly trustworthy and mostly meant, or wish they meant, everything they said.  It was weird.

All of that, I think, is a result of  ‘seeing’ the people instead of  just hearing them.  I can’t help but wonder how much that affects my opinion and I am trying hard not to let it.  I often wonder how just ‘hearing’ and not ‘seeing’ the campaigns of 2008 would have changed the result.

Like so many other people watching, I am listening for ideas, platforms and issues that speak to me directly and that represent my exact vision of my country.  Therein, of course, lies the real debate.  What, exactly, is my vision?

I am certainly not liberal but I am also not a fringey right wing zealot.  Libertarian ideas appeal to

Here.. put this on…

me but I refuse to try on Ron Paul’s tin-foil cap – although I have toyed with the idea.    Other than the isolationist concepts, he has some pretty appealing platforms.

I want to like Bachmann.  After watching the debates (so far) I am starting to warm back up to her, although, she seems a bit high-maintenance for the job.  How long exactly, does all that make-up take her to apply  everyday?  I know, I know.  Shallow.  I don’t like any kind of religion in my politics but I do believe that we should base decisions on goodness and justice.   All of that goodness mostly comes from God, doesn’t it?   Whole ‘nuther subject there.  Extremism scares me.

I like Santorum.  I actually, probably, like him the most.  But – there’s that whole religion thing again.  I just don’t really give a shit what gay people do.  Get married, don’t get married.  I don’t care.  I do believe in a strong family unit and I don’t think it is affected by what gay people do or don’t do.  Either you are gay – or not.  Period.  I’m not.  My family unit looks pretty typical.  I don’t mind if my neighbor’s does not.

Huntsman ‘appears’ to be a bit smug and over-confident.  Maybe he just has gas.  I generally like his platforms, although, honestly, I have not studied him much.

Romney.  I like him.  He does not appear to be basing business decisions on any weird, cultish, Mormon philosophy.  He just seems like a regular Christian guy who is smart and decisive and a savvy business man.  He does make stupid faces while he listens to the other candidates.  I bet he never farts.

Perry- I just don’t know.  Hard not to like a cowboy from Texas.  He is easy on the eyes.   Is he smart enough?  Would he be true to American values?  Texas is one of the only states that is still thriving.  That says something.

Ultimately, Gingrich appears to be the wisest, smartest and most qualified.  He does have that baggage and there is something lurking there.. for me.. that keeps me reserved a bit.

I think I would be fairly comfortable with any of them.  Except Ron Paul.  I would be okay with him as VP, although Biden has proved that office to be fairly useless.

So… what are your thoughts?

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